Hello friends. I hope at least some of you remember me. It has been almost 3 months since I have posted and I couldn't be more sorry that I left this space unused for so long. There were multiple instances where this white keyboard was calling my name but so much has happened over the past few months that has kept me from typing.
I have always told myself that I wouldn't be one of those robot-bloggers who no one could relate to on a personal level, so this post is for you. You deserve to know why I have been MIA, and actually, it is probably good for me to write it all down.
A LOOK BACK.
Ever since I was little, I always set myself so many goals and engaged in so many projects, that half of them would never get finished because I over-booked myself. Well its not too different today, if anything it is worse. People always tell me, "Ben you are so driven!" or "You are always working on something new! Is there something you can't do?" I constantly have my head in a thousand places and sometimes I can't even sleep at night because of the ideas and projects I have surging through my brain. To want to do so much is great, yes, but sometimes it's a curse. It causes me to not dedicate time to the things I really want to do successfully, and I never really decide what my true priorities are.
Some of you may know that I am also a dancer. I have been dancing for 6 years now and I love it with every vein in my body. There is nothing like closing your eyes and letting your body move on a studio floor. I have had the opportunity to join the most advanced company team at the 3rd ranked dance studio in the nation, and of course I said yes. I am having the time of my life, but it leaves me with almost no time for anything else. My heart has a special place for really only two things, dance and fashion. Over the past few months I have had no time for blogging and fashion has been put on the back burner, or even, taken off the stove. I made this choice so I am not complaining, but sometimes there are those days where you wonder if the choice you made ... was the right one. My ultimate dream is to be one of the "super-bloggers". To make a great living off of jet-setting, sitting front row at fashion week, styling collaborations with top brands, and ultimately, to inspire people. A dream that sounds this ridiculous can make you second guess whether it is even practical. Will you waste your time on something that you might not even achieve?
I started to prioritize and set aside time on the weekends to be able to pre-film videos and write as much blog posts ahead of time, so that I would actually end up posting more than ever! It was going really wonderfully and I was no longer stressed out about not being able to do an aspect of my life that I loved.
But then I got the call ...
One of my friends, and one of the most inspirational girls I have ever met, had passed away. I was so busy with so many things that I didn't really even have time to grieve. A month or two after this tragedy, my grandfather passed away and I had never witnessed my mom so upset. My dad was on tour for his work, so the Green house was dark and mournful. Because of my dance schedule, I wasn't able to attend the funeral. (I don't mean to depress any of you or make you feel bad for me, I just thought you all should know.) On top of all this, my fashion mentor and one of the strongest driving forces in my life became sick with cancer again. At this point, I couldn't focus on anything.
All the death and sickness that was revealing itself in my life seemed overwhelming, but I now see a reason why all of this might have been happening all at once. It was a wake up call for me. You often hear, "Life is short. Live every day like it's your last," but it usually isn't taken more than figuratively.
This blog post is more a result of my new-found determination.
A LOOK FORWARD.
Today is the first day of my new goal, and one I am really determined to make a special one. I am young, but time is of the essence! My mentor told me, "Ben, there is absolutely nothing that you cannot do. Don't let anything stop you from believing that anything you want to do is possible."
I have been accepted to one of my dream schools in Manhattan, and if everything works out right, I already have a place waiting for me in the city. In less than a year I will be in the city of my dreams and there is so much that the future holds. Which means there is a lot to do in the mean time! Haha! I want to have this blog consistent and taken to new heights by the spring.
It will be difficult to juggle with school and dance, but I am determined to figure it all out. I mean Tim Gun taught me well. "Make it work."
Great and do-able projects and posts are coming your way, and it feels good to be revitalized. And I am excited to introduce to you a new helper of mine soon. ;)
So hello blog. Hello readers. Welcome to our new journey together.